Don’t call the Sheriff!
Speculation has been rampant as to my whereabouts; certainly reports of my demise have been greatly exculpated. But after being away from this blog for a month, dear readers, I’m back here at the Winehiker Central keyboard and ready to once again launch my usual antics into the greater cosmos. If you’ve been missing me at all, I can assure you that I’ve missed you, too – there’s something gloriously heartwarming about sharing my thoughts publicly and learning how those thoughts resonate with you.
Even if you haven’t written me lately, I suppose you’ve been wondering where I’ve been. Indeed, the speculative inquiries that have lately arrived in my inbox are intriguing, amusing, even vexing. Over the course of the last month, it’s been suggested that I’ve experienced the following:
- I’ve been holed up in a hospital for the vinologically insane.
- I’ve been held hostage on a Mendocino County grape-farming commune and forced to pick, sort, and crush grapes 18 hours a day (while naked) and surviving only on tofu and toadstools.
- I’ve been stuck in a slot canyon in Utah and had to cut my own arm off to escape the terrible fate of never drinking wine again while everybody else was searching for Steve Fawcett.
- I’ve been sitting in the sunshine singing a little sunshine song (see first bullet).
- I’ve been in love.
- I’ve been in jail.
- I’ve been enjoying a well-deserved vacation from winehiking which, naturally, included more winehiking.
At least one of the above I’ve beens is true. But rather than tell you which that is, I think it will be fun to let you guess, via your comments on this post, as to what I’ve been up to. Consider it a Winehiker’s neoversion of that venerable TV game show To Tell The Truth.
So, where has the winehiker been? In any case, don’t call the Sheriff, and please cancel that print order for those milk cartons!! I am returned from the missing, and I will see you tomorrow.
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September 19th, 2007 10:44
Don’t call the Sheriff!…
Where has the winehiker been? Where hasn’t he been? Your guess is as good as his….
September 19th, 2007 13:10
Arrrrrr! Where he be?
Let’s see… if he’s been off for a month and in love and unable to communicate, then it’s safe to say he’ll winehiking kinda funny, so that not very plausible.
On the other hand, if he’s been in jail, there’s a pretty good chance he was someone’s love interest. I hear that happens.
A vacation would be nuts during the busy winehiking summer. And I don’t know how well the Winehiker sings – if he sings like I do I don’t want to know…
It’s not #3, because this was clearly typed by someone with two hands.
If it’s #1 I want to check into that hospital…
That leaves #2.
September 19th, 2007 13:11
*phew* Glad to see you’re back! We’ll go ahead and stop printing photos of you on our WineQ shipping boxes (Even though it seems to be helping our sales significantly!)
September 19th, 2007 13:14
LOL @ el jefe’s jail + love interest comment. I will second #2.
September 20th, 2007 07:19
I vote for love!
I’m glad you are back among the living!
September 20th, 2007 22:21
Love, and insanity too! Hopefully the former is long term and the latter is temporary.
March 5th, 2009 16:41
[...] Don’t call the Sheriff! A Bordello Barolo, Chapter One [...]